The Zombie Apocalypse Is Upon Us
Now may be the time to grab your shotgun and stock up on ammo, because this recent rash of unusual behavior has everyone thinking “Is the Zombie Apocalypse among us?”
If you’re like me you’re probably wondering what the hell is going on in the news with the flesh-eating crazies! The month of May might as well have been nicknamed MAY DAY because that’s when this rash (excuse the pun) of weird incidents began.
On May 16th the Huffington Post reported an incident at McArther High School where students and teachers were decontaminated due to an eerie skin rash! Twelve students and two teachers were treated at an area hospital after breaking out with the mysterious rashes.
The incident occurred when 21 students walked from one classroom to another and almost all of them broke out with itchy rashes and hives in the reading room. A Hazmat team was called in to remove the students and investigate. The origin is a mystery and still under investigation.
Four days later, a drunken doctor was arrested for DUI. Nothing eerie about this story right? Well that was until his crazed behavior caused him to bang his head against the car and get this…SPIT BLOOD IN THE OFFICERS EYES! There’s no word whether this Florida man had a dose of bath salt, but his erratic behavior was just the prequel to the epidemic.
In the most bizarre case yet, on Saturday we had our first incident of an actual zombie attack. In Miami, Rudy Eugene attacked a homeless man by the name of Ronald Poppo and consumed 80% of his face! The cause of the attack was the result of bath salt. This not only made Eugene remove his clothing, but unpackage his lunch before consumption.
After being told by police to stop eating the man’s face, Eugene looked up, growled and resumed eating. The effects of the drugs gave the predator super human strength. He continued to eat after being shot 4 times initially. Rudy had lots of time to dine because it took the authorities almost 10 minutes to arrive on scene.
The Zombie craze appears to be spreading North. On Wednesday Hackensack, N.J. police arrived at the home of 43-year-old Wayne Carter after receiving a call that the man was threatening to stab himself with a knife. Upon arrival, Carter ignored the police and began stabbing himself in the neck, chest, and abdomen.
But things got really weird when Carter cut out his own entrails and began throwing them at the officers along with his own flesh! [READ FULL STORY]
Now this is where it stops getting funny and downright creepy!
A Morgan State University student confessed to investigators that he ingested a man’s heart and brain after his remains were found in the basement. The predator, 21-year-old Alexander Kinyua was arrested a week after the victim Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodie, 37 went missing. [FULL STORY]
So in the pending wake of a Zombie Apocalypse, will you be ready? I don’t know about you guys but I most certainly will. If you aren’t, here’s a few items you should consider:
When it comes to weapons, you want the most effective long-range and close range your body can handle. For hand to hand combat, Army Knives work well, especially the Rambo knife seeing it can be used as a jabbing tool to thrust in the head of a flesh-eating zombie.
Baseball bats work well, the only problem is you get one good swing to get it right or you’ll be the main course! Handguns are great for taking down flesh eaters within close range, but when you’re ready to blow the limbs off the undead, nothing beats the shotgun, aka THE BOOM STICK!
Trust me, I KNOW!!!
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